I hate this. Sometimes, I hate all of it. I've heard some Immortals say that the hardest part of our lifes is loosing mortals that we love, but I think they're wrong. It's loosing friends. Immortal friends, even to the Game. It's all such a fickle thing, it could have happened to any of us, but John and Belinda... they were so young. I keep thinking there should have been more I could have done for her. I was her teacher. There must have been something..!

But John was highly trained. Connor would never have let him leave home if he wasn't. Sometimes, life just isn't fair.

I think Duncan's taking this hard. Have I become callous and unfeeling?

It's certainly lovely when plans start to fall into place. My, does Richie look so much older! All that recogized potenial all came to fruit. I wonder of Duncan regrets that loss of innocence in the boy...

( Flitered: Private )

Is a stubborn, stubborn girl.

I've never had this much trouble before. Certainly Duncan never had this many problems with Richie.

Belinda and I worked through some routines. I dispare of her ever getting any real skill. She just doesn't have the drive for it, not like Richie, when Duncan was training him. At least we've moved her into her own place.

( Training Session )

And then I watched Donna's girls while she went into labor. They really are lovely childern, and it helped to take my mind off the job.

( Pretty Little Princesses )

And now I need to speak to Methos, and see what's going on.

I'm rather surprised at how well having Belinda here is working out. We've already gone shopping for things for the apartment, and a bit of clothes shopping. I will get her to have a better sense of style. No student of mine will look a vagabond. I think she'll be ready to move in a few days, though. We need to have the apartment repainted and cleaned first. It's been awhile since anyone's used it.

( I knew Duncan would agree with me. )

And then, I met up with someone rather interesting.

( Filtered-- Joe and Philip only )

I've been propositioned for a job. Something about it unsettles me just a bit. Joe, I've got the photograph of the sword hilt, if I stop by the bar tonight, will you take a look?

( Something here just isn't right... )

I think Duncan is still uncomfortable with the knowledge that I was married while we were apart. Not very fair, I think, since I know he dated and had his little flings. Ah well, I suppose he'll get used to it. I'm, however, relishing us back together. We've both changed so much in the past nine years, it's rather fun to see the little changes in us. Like the fact that I steal Duncan's shirts now, to wear around the barge. He laughed at me, when he saw me doing that.

Though I think the best part of Paris is running into old friends.

( Somehow, I'm not surprised to see Cory... )

Maybe Adam's right, and it is time to move on. Even I'm begining to feel stuck. I need to be able to keep myself busy, and with Duncan... Well, it's not to say that I don't love him, because I do, I just need my freedom, too. Every move I make, Duncan stops and questions. It's really driving me mad. I know Duncan doesn't mean to act the Boy Scout with me, but he does, and it's grating on my nerves. I'm not a child that needs to be looked after.

I too, need a change. I'll have to talk to Duncan, later tonight.

( So I helped Adam pack, a few nights ago... )

So I talked to my Watcher today. Nathan's quite the nervous boy. Harmless though. Will, on the other hand... I think... I know he's got his own secrets, Nathan told me that much. We'll have to talk about it.

( Lunch meeting with Nathan (Adam Only) )

(Private Post to Adam)

Methos, love, I think Dana's angry with us. I suppose that means I shouldn't tell her how shockingly easy it was for me...

But maybe I should offer to help her spruce it up...

(Private Post, Not Viewable by Characters)

So I've managed to competely ignore Duncan yesterday. Which is not easy to do, considering we're living in the same place. But he spent most of the day down in the Dojo, and I spent most of the day practicing with throwing knifes. And then I disppeared out the back exit to visit Adam when Duncan wasn't looking. He's in the shower now, I can hear him, and I know he felt me come home.

Maybe Adam's right. I do seem to find something to snipe at Duncan for. But really! He might as well have just come out and called me a whore! I've got half a mind to go out there and make his statement true. In all the years I've been with Duncan, I have never cheated on him. He's just being a fool. I know that, Adam knows that, and I'm sure Duncan knows that too. But that statement really hurt. He said it so matter of factly, like there was no doubt in his mind that that was what I was doing. Does he really think that little of me?

*sigh* He just turned the water off. I suppose I'll start a pot of coffee.

So I think Duncan's noticed me slipping out. There's only so much sex I can use to distract him.

I'm going to have to think of something to tell him, especially now that Kit and I are going to be working together. Duncan thinks I'm sleeping around! Like I would do that to him while we were together. Please.

Will somebody please tell me why my Watcher suddenly seems much more interested in following me around? I relieze it's his job and all, but really. I barely saw him before last week, and now he's around all the time. Either he's around more, or he's just getting sloppy. And getting sloppy is a good way to lose your head. Or rather, in his case, his life.

Woke up to find Duncan gone. Apperantly he was working. Pah, work. He needs to hire somebody for the dojo so he can entertain me. At least he made coffee before he left.

So I went shopping instead. It was just so nice out, I felt the need to buy some new summer clothes. Lovely new skirts out this spring. White, pink, and a cute little yellow one. Now I just need an excuse to wear it. I bought a painting for the loft. It'll look nice against above the bed, I think. Oh! And a new set of wine glasses, so Duncan won't get mad when I use his crystal ones.

I've been catching glimpses of my Watcher more than usual. I'll have to talk to Dana for the lastest gossip.

Kit and I have a rematch planned. He wasn't too happy with my winnings of the other night. Though I was proud of the way I managed to sneak away. Duncan didn't even know I was gone until Adam mentioned it to him.

But oh, the game was wonderful. I haven't played a game of chance that good in at least 50 years.

Adam, we really should speak about those plans of ours. There's this lovely new bar that just opened. Maybe we should go our for that drink?

Connor needs Duncan to stay with Jon and Claire tonight... Maybe I'll go shopping. With my winnings.

Adam, honey, have I ever told you how well you danced? And you know, lovely tattoo. Really. We all appreciated it.

Movie night with the girls was lovely. It's been too long since I've had girl friends, and able to just sit around and watch... movies. Yes, that's what we watched. Home movies. And Adam, we should go to a club or something. So I can watch you dance again. Even if you are dressed this time.

And now to go dig up my pink negligee. Duncan's getting a surprise tonight.

And Duncan and I got him back for the nasty flower joke. That made me cry.

( He didn't like the joke as much as we did... )

And now I'm off to bed with Duncan. I really do need to go get my stuff from Richie's place...

Adam is coming for dinner tonight. With my chocolate. I'm debating how badly I should guilt trip him when he gets here.

Duncan's in the kitchen, I can hear him cooking. Smells good to. I myself just got back from getting a bottle of wine for dinner. (Sorry Adam, wine with dinner, beer after.)

Everythings nicely set up for tonight. I even cleaned! Well, just a little.

And now time to distract Duncan before dinner.

I met Claire for lunch today. It was rather pleasant. I really do like the girl, Connor. She's very sweet, and she'll keep you in line. Plus, she's learning so well! A girl can't stay alive on sword skill alone, believe me, I know.

And Adam, look! You had nothing to worry about!

( Lunch Date )

Duncan and I are catching a late plane back to Seacouver tonight.

I must admit, being away, even if just for a long weekend, was pretty nice. No loose immortals, or crazy Watchers (Sorry Joe) to worry about. And Duncan was ever so sweet too. It was relaxing.

Adam, don't think I forgot the promise for chocolate. And you might want to hide from Duncan for a few days.

Duncan found me last night. I blame Adam, though it didn't end badly so his punishment will be small. Maybe.

( Three words aren't that hard to say, I promise. )


( This almost makes me want to fight more often... (R-rated, go ahead Adam, say something... I know you want to.) )

I expect we'll be back in Seacouver in a few days. I hope everyone is doing fine there...

Flowers. He got me flowers. Because he thinks that four dozen roses will make me less upset. Does Duncan really think he can just buy me off? And oh, look, he loves me, and misses me so much. Right.

Though they're very pretty. But where am I going to put four dozen long stem roses! I don't have room for this!

Oh. They came in vases. I guess I can put them in the bedroom. *sigh*

Went shopping with the girls today. It's funny, there's whole slew of men in my circle of friends, but the only woman I've ever really trusted is dead.

Shopping was fun, I suppose... Don't know if I'd do it again, but it was an experience, to say the least. Even with my watcher following my like a shadow. Don't dislike the boy, just dislike knowing my every move is being recorded.

*sigh* Why does this get harder every time?

Time to move on, one begins to suspect. Nothing left holding me here.

I'm back at the apartment, if anybody's looking for me.


But somehow I doubt they will.

I'm so sorry. If I'd had known...

I never should have run here.

I finished the dress. Have to admit I cheated a bit. In the processes of pulling boxes out of storage, I found an old dress I must have brought back the first time I was in the states. Pulled apart the bodice piece, created a new corset with it. It saved me a lot of time.

But, dress looks fantastic. Duncan will flip.

Had a surprise visiter last night. Adam brought me books and someone to chat with for a bit. Helped ease the boredom a bit. Duncan seems to have competely forgotten that I've been clostiered up in Richie's old apartement. Which I've decidely overrun. Sorry Rich.

What I should really do, is flag down my new Watcher, sitting in his shiney car outside and invite him in for a drink. He has to watch me anyway, hmm?

Yes, I'm becoming domesticated. Without Duncan cooking for me, I've been forced to cook for myself, and am not happy with that. Though, while at the grocery store yesterday, I overheard two of the workers discussing how to rob a bank. Poor fools were going about it completely wrong. I almost went over to explain the proper way of doing it, be decided it was safer to just point and laugh.

There is a Ren-Faire this weekend. Everyone's going to it. Even Joe, I think. And the MacLeods are wearing kilts. So I played with the idea of wearing one of my old dress, but then I'd have to have them express shipped over here from France, and I really don't want to be bothered. So I'm going to make my dress instead. Which really isn't that much easier, but then at least I'd have something to do.

I've read all the books Adam brought over weeks ago, have finished redecorating... I started packing some of Richie's things. Nothing important, mind you, just things I'm sure he won't be needing for while. Like those horrid paintings of motorcycles he had in the bedroom. I'm considering having a few things pulled out of storage from the last time I was in the states... I'll have to speak to Richie about how long he's planning on staying with Adam. I though I did pay next months rent, whether I'm here or not.

Woke up this morning with no trace of a hang over and the wonderfully warm body of Duncan laying besides me. Of course, I was still wearing one of my shoes. Still very comfortable though. Hated having to move. So I didn't. At least, not till Duncan moved, a good hour later. I can't believe I woke up before him. I could here Joe outside, could smell him making breakfast. He's a good friend to us.

Hee, last night was fun. Haven't been that drunk in ages. Haven't been that giggly in ages! I'm so glad Joe stopped by, and that we managed to scare Duncan into showing up. Two of my favorite boys. Just needed Adam and Richie to make it like old times... Only, Richie and Duncan aren't speaking still.

Sometimes I hate leaving. So many changes in your absence.

*sigh* Must cheer up. I'm bringing Jon to the arcade today.

This whole staying at Richie's place? Driving me crazy. I mean, it's not like I don't mind Richie's place (now that's it been cleaned, redecorated, and painted), but I'm just so bored stuck up here. Ever since last week, Duncan's refused to let me leave the place. I mean, just because I was attacked by some crazed minion of a greater evil doesn't mean I can't leave the aparetment. And it's not even like I can sneak out! Duncan calls every half hour! Doesn't that man have a life!? If he's so worried about me, he should just come and join me here. At least then I'd be kept occupied. And not left trying to figure out the color scheme of each of Richie's rooms. The kitchen and bathroom are already done up in two lovely color schemes, with new rugs, curtains, and towels for all.

Gah! I'm so bored! Richie has no good books, there's nothing for me to watch on TV, and there isn't any alochol! Somebody save me!!